Seagull Shenanigans: The Feathered Fiends
Adding to the cacophony of complaints, the Manly Whingers have now turned their ire towards the seagulls. “These feathered fiends are a menace!” declared longtime resident and seagull skeptic, Bob Jenkins. “They swoop down, steal your chips, and squawk like they own the place.”
The Whingers are advocating for a seagull ban, or at the very least, seagull-free zones. “We need nets, scarecrows, maybe even trained hawks to keep these pests at bay,” Jenkins suggested. “It’s like Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’ out there, but with more potato chips.”
Local cafes have started offering “seagull shields” – special covers for food that protect against aerial attacks. “You’d think we’re living in a war zone,” said Jenkins. “Next, they’ll be selling seagull-proof helmets.”
Manly Whingers are even considering launching a “Seagull Awareness Campaign” to educate tourists on the dangers of feeding the feathered fiends. “It’s time to take back our chips and our beaches,” proclaimed Jenkins. “No more fowl play!”
Comments